Valentines Day Jokes
“What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?
I’m sweet on you!”
“What did the boy sheep say to the girl sheep on Valentine’s Day?
I Love Ewe!”
“When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why. ”
“What do farmers give their wives on Valentine’s Day?
Hog and kisses! ”
Perfectly Paired Puns
“As Valentine’s Day approached, I tried to think of an unusual gift for my husband. When I discovered that his favorite red-plaid pants had a broken zipper, I thought I had the “perfect Valentine.” I had the pants repaired, and gift-wrapped them. On the package I put a huge red heart on which I printed: “My Heart Pants for You.” I was the surprised one, however, when I saw the same heart taped to our formerly empty, but now overflowing, wood box. On it he had written: “Wood You Be My Valentine?”
Mary Lou Pittman
“There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart!”
Melanie Griffith
“Did I tell you about that wonderful beaded dress I almost bought for you ? But then I thought you’ll look great without it, just the same.”
“At the post office Roger noticed a middle aged, stout and bald man with many heart-shaped envelopes. He was sticking ‘love’ stamps on each envelope and was spraying them with perfume. Obviously curious, Roger went up to him and asked him what he was doing. With a big grin, the man replied: “I’m sending 4000 Valentine’s Day cards signed “guess who”. Roger was taken aback—“But why on earth ?” The man replied—“You see I’m a divorce lawyer !”
Meaning of Dreams
“A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, “I just dreamt that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s Day.
What do you think it means?”
“You shall know tonight”, he said.
That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it. She found a book entitled “The Meaning of Dreams”.